OVERCOMPENSATING

a film by joule seventeen

I wrote the poem in 2020,
created the video and the song in 2021,
i realized and finished it all in 2022

a love letter to mYSELF
when i was 24 years old:

Overcompensating

Collecting broken glass in two bleeding hands
scared to speak and yet
i scare you
do you have even the slightest concern

you should

if you don’t you should
Give me the worst advice
because i can be a tidal wave
And this is

primitive

I know, but what have i done?
I didn’t go to prom didn’t get married didn’t buy a house
You would use it all as a weapon
And Now i am

sorry

for something that hasn’t happened
You are savoring it
i am collecting
everything that makes me feel guilty

spit it out

Screaming “Thanks!” as i chew and swallow my own teeth
you are bothering me
i am bothering me

I am capable, safe, useful, suspended

override

Suited and dressed
Zombies in an elevator
Dripping with sweat
Sliding out of a vending machine

Push

Don’t fucking tell me what to do
sad clowns
Proud clones with singed throats
Sink your teeth into the soft parts

Release

Don’t let the useless evil
Distort, disorient, distract
Because you are Strange, sweet
And free